Ranting with Big Papa

A missile shield... Ok... So it's a shield that blocks missiles from hitting our country. That's cool, but isn't it supposed to be some kind of electro-kinetic, invisible, cover the continent with a dome of protection sorta arrangement? Star Trek, Star Wars, Independence Day, War of the Worlds, Alf.. They all had shields like that. And where are the fucking tractor beams? I want fucking tractor beams!

No we're just gonna launch missiles that are supposed to run into the missiles that North Korea has lobed at us. It's like trying to hit a rock that was thown at you by trying to hit it with a rock that you just threw. Ok, it's a bit more technical than that.. But $85 million bux a pop to test? And they've failed twice out of three times? I want my money back!

How about we put that money into research for phasers or proton cannons or something like that? Perhaps we can come up with some sort of ray gun that will burn up the incoming missiles.

Or I guess, we could always use that money the research AIDs, cancer or getting the homeless off the street.

I don't have an issue with defending our country, it just seems like the technology is so, 1960. Give me Lasers, phasers and tasers! Oh we've got tasers... And they're shit cool!

Mr. Sulu wouldn't like our shields...

Peace Out,
-bp

Posted by Scooter at 11:58 AM | Permalink | Pithy Remarks

After several months of deliberation, I went out and bought a SlingBox. What this little box does is connect to your home network and your Tivo or Cable box. It has a little IR dongle so that it can control your Tivo or Cable box. At this point, you can now watch your Tivo from wherever you can get a broadband connection.

This is the shit-coolest thing I've bought for my TV since I bought my Tivo! I can watch my TV or Tivo'ed shows from anywhere. I've used it at the office to watch some news and stuff, while doing menial system administration, I use it at home while in the home office, which doesn't have a TV and I can use it on my Motorola Q.

Aside from being able to watch TV you can use it to program your Tivo or DVR while on the road, catch some of that football game while on vacation or watch whatever. It's very cool.

While sitting waiting for our flight in Detroit, my friends and I were able to catch the start of the 49'ers vs. Raiders game. The quality it totally acceptable, even though there is some compression artifacts and such.

If you're looking to spend some cash on a new toy, try this...

Posted by Scooter at 12:17 PM | Permalink | Pithy Remarks

So... As you've no doubt heard, the Reuters news service recently published a photo of damage incurred by Israeli rocket fire in Beirut, Lebanon that turned out to have had a little 'doctoring' done to it. Now to be fair, Photoshop is a complex tool and I'm sure that it's very difficult to use in a war zone while huddled in a crumbling building with rockets exploding around you, however, come on.. How stupid do you all think we are? How stupid is Reuters?

As you can see, the photo was clearly modified. The smoke patterns clearly are fake. Smoke doesn't have patterns, so when you see a pattern in smoke, you should take a closer look. There were some comparisons done of the images and it was noted that the skyline was altered as well as the color of the sky. Several elements were doctored to 'help' the truth.

I'm not taking sides on this issue on the blog, but I don't appreciate the deception. I'm also annoyed that no one at Reuters could see this fakery.

Here is an image that has been altered by a professional... Let's look at this promo photo for 'King Arthur'. Specifically, let's look at Kiera Knightly's boobies.

Personally, I have no issue with her ta-ta's, but Hollywood and the film industry are fake and false, so I'm not surprised by a little hooter alteration for the sake of selling some more tickets.


This would be the proper place to use your photoshop skills. The key is being subtle. Adjust the boobs up, add a little fullness, a touch of makeup and color adjust... Voila, I never would have know the difference if I hadn't seen the 'before' photo.

Get back to work and please drive through....

-bp

Posted by Scooter at 5:45 PM | Permalink | Pithy Remarks

It seems that those innocuous $2.50 bottles of water the we take on the plane with us, could actually be component 'B' of a three part mixture that turns baby poop into an improvised incendiary device.

Next week, I'm going to fly to an undisclosed location in the Mid-West for a wedding reception. Now, I hate to fly, I really do. It's uncomfortable. It's painful. I always get sick after flying. However, I would like to remind my fellow air travelers that while it is going to be EXTREMELY inconvenient to have to pack everything that is liquid or jelled into a bag that gets checked, things will go smoothly if you don't bitch, whine and complain about having to pack everything into a bag that gets checked. Just do it. Do it before you get in line to check your bag. Do it before you get into the security line. Besides, do you really need to take that jar of KY in your carry on?

Put the crap you do carry on into a zip lock bag, so security can see it. Take your shoes off before you get to the metal detector. Take off your belt too. Just get used to taking any metal off and doing the things that make it easy for TSA to do their job. Guess what will happen? The lines will shrink. We'll get there on time and we won't have to show up at the airport 3 hours early.

I'm going to pack everything I take on my trip into my checkin luggage. Checking a bag isn't that big a deal. Waiting for your bag isn't the big a deal. Having some whack job trying to blow you up because you're an infidel American, sucks worse.

--bp

Posted by Scooter at 3:34 PM | Permalink | Pithy Remarks

Saw this article on Yahoo! about a Chinese company that has created a "robotic receptionist".

While watching the video of this thing, two things occurred to me. First I can't believe it took this long for the Chinese to finally figure out how to rip off Disney. Audio-Animatroics have been around since the 60's. Second, as this is an Asian robot the mimics a female... Does it come with a happy ending algorithm?

Well, don't go throwing your Real Dolls out yet, but one of these days, somebody is going to figure out how to create a robot that looks, sounds and acts like a human. When they do, every pervert in the world is going to want one and figure out how to hack a BJ subroutine into their bot.

Love, exciting and new... Come onboard, we've got toys for you... The Love Bot... Soon will be spanking you till you c#@! The Love Bot, promises nasty and perverted fun...

Ain't technology grand? The future's so bright, I gotta buy, automatically tinting based on ambient lighting conditions, shades!

-bp

Posted by Scooter at 12:07 PM | Permalink | Pithy Remarks

I worked at a theme park for 10 years... This shit never gets old... >:)

Posted by Scooter at 3:38 PM | Permalink | Pithy Remarks

Tonight I went to see Kelly Clarkson. No I didn't lose a bet. A couple of my friends, wanted to see her. So In a drunken stupor, somebody thought it would be a good idea to buy a bunch of tickets. So we went, sorta under duress, in the case of myself and AS, however, I think we all enjoyed it. She put on a good show and it was good family oriented entertainment. Besides, she's a babe, so it's all good.

We brought some of our own food in.. CO'B checked out the food requirements for the Shoreline Amphitheater and they noted that each patron could bring food in as long as it was within a 1 gallon 'ziplock' type bag. So we had the bag 'o carrots, the bag 'o salsa (for the bag 'o tortilla chips) and my favorite, the bag 'o cheese. Naturally, this wasn't enough food for 7 people. Ok, actually, I was the one that wanted a hot dog, but some others did too... So we got our place on the lawn, some folks went for tasty adult beverages, like I was going to go through a Kelly Clarkson concert without a little liquid mellow agent. I went to get some hot dogs... There were seven of us, so I figured I'd get 6 and we could split or toss any extra later. They called them 'Big Dogs' and they were 6 bucks each. No problem, as a frequent attendee of many local football and hockey venues, I expected the standard crappy hot dog in the standard crappy bun, wrapped in the standard crappy foil'ish type wrapper.

What arrived scared us... These things were huge! They were a foot and a half long each! They were nasty! They were naughty! They were... The John Holmes of Hot Dogs. Each foot and a half long wiener was on an equally huge bun. Carb overload to say the least, and we couldn't eat them normally either. They were too wide, er, they had too much girth. I was trying to eat the damn thing side saddle so people wouldn't think I was trying to deep throat my dinner. The dick jokes flew around for a few minutes as we tried to understand just what we had purchased.

Anyhow, we managed to munch on our Porn Dogs and drink our beer and eat our cheese, chips and salsa. We then enjoyed a fun show, though not as fun as watching this couple next to us that were drunk or high and dancing like a couple of sex starved wood nymphs in the forest. As far we could tell.. They were having sex with their clothes on, though at times, her dress hiked a little high and... Well, you get the picture.

In hind sight, we should have offered them a hot dog.

Posted by Scooter at 11:53 PM | Permalink | Pithy Remarks