Idol Dogs
Tonight I went to see Kelly Clarkson. No I didn't lose a bet. A couple of my friends, wanted to see her. So In a drunken stupor, somebody thought it would be a good idea to buy a bunch of tickets. So we went, sorta under duress, in the case of myself and AS, however, I think we all enjoyed it. She put on a good show and it was good family oriented entertainment. Besides, she's a babe, so it's all good.
We brought some of our own food in.. CO'B checked out the food requirements for the Shoreline Amphitheater and they noted that each patron could bring food in as long as it was within a 1 gallon 'ziplock' type bag. So we had the bag 'o carrots, the bag 'o salsa (for the bag 'o tortilla chips) and my favorite, the bag 'o cheese. Naturally, this wasn't enough food for 7 people. Ok, actually, I was the one that wanted a hot dog, but some others did too... So we got our place on the lawn, some folks went for tasty adult beverages, like I was going to go through a Kelly Clarkson concert without a little liquid mellow agent. I went to get some hot dogs... There were seven of us, so I figured I'd get 6 and we could split or toss any extra later. They called them 'Big Dogs' and they were 6 bucks each. No problem, as a frequent attendee of many local football and hockey venues, I expected the standard crappy hot dog in the standard crappy bun, wrapped in the standard crappy foil'ish type wrapper.
What arrived scared us... These things were huge! They were a foot and a half long each! They were nasty! They were naughty! They were... The John Holmes of Hot Dogs. Each foot and a half long wiener was on an equally huge bun. Carb overload to say the least, and we couldn't eat them normally either. They were too wide, er, they had too much girth. I was trying to eat the damn thing side saddle so people wouldn't think I was trying to deep throat my dinner. The dick jokes flew around for a few minutes as we tried to understand just what we had purchased.
Anyhow, we managed to munch on our Porn Dogs and drink our beer and eat our cheese, chips and salsa. We then enjoyed a fun show, though not as fun as watching this couple next to us that were drunk or high and dancing like a couple of sex starved wood nymphs in the forest. As far we could tell.. They were having sex with their clothes on, though at times, her dress hiked a little high and... Well, you get the picture.
In hind sight, we should have offered them a hot dog.
